Faith · Growth · Motherhood

Who is this Virtuous Woman?

Proverbs 31

28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
I love to read about the Proverbs 31 woman. Lord knows during my 5 years of marriage, I’ve strived to be like her . I’ve strived to be the perfect wife, the fun crafty mom, the entrepreneur , the minister,  the mentor, the glue that holds everyone and everything  all together. I’ve tried to do all these things and a lot of times, all it left me was burnt out! A lot of it comes from me just being in a bad place mentally, spiritually and emotionally. However, over the course of this last year, I have really been finding myself, who I am and who I’m not in Christ.

For me personally, becoming a mother made me a completely brand new person. My daughter will be 2 this week, and I not only deem it necessary to celebrate her vibrant life, but I want to give glory to God for the woman that he created me to be. I thought I always knew, but I had no idea. 

A lot of women talk about how they carry an “S” on their chest , how they hold the house down and the kids and being the “daddy” too. Let’s stop right there! 

What I love about the Proverbs 31 woman is that in all her many hats and roles , never did it say that she did these things all at one time. The secret is knowing that God didn’t call us to do everything at one time. “No” is an answer too ; and I didn’t learn to use it until I became a mother. Motherhood taught me that virtue. Life will drain us. There’s always something that will need to be done. Our kids will always prefer us over anyone else. We will always clean our house better than anyone else. The list goes on….what you, my dear, have to understand is that until you can learn to say “no” even to yourselves sometimes, you will never be all that you truly desire to be to anyone.   Has anyone said this to you? Rest! 

This morning, God showed me a very important lesson. I’ve been praying for some things to shift for my family for a long time. Financially shift. My husband and I work full-time and we also have our own businesses that we are trying to flourish. If I let him, he would get another job. I love that about him, yet I hate it too.  This morning, my husband woke me up out of my sleep to tell me that he had checked some mail that we had never looked at from last week to find out that the debt I was praying about had been Paid In Full years ago! That’s a shouting moment! When I got over the shock, I laid my head back down on my pillow and God spoke into my spirit and said “I work even when you’re sleeping”. 

This is on my heart tonight because I remember last year as I was preparing for my baby’s first birthday, I would cry myself to sleep because I was so sad , so overworked , so overwhelmed, and nothing to show for it. When I allowed Proverbs 31 to speak to me and I submitted to the Holy Spirit, I discovered a newfound identity in Christ Jesus…..

This year, I’m ready for the terrible 2’s! I’m excited to celebrate, I’m jumping up and down with my daughter because this year, I learned how to live again. I learned how to say no. I learned how to prioritize my life and make room for the things and people that really matter. I learned that it doesn’t matter what people think of me or if they agree with who or what I am. I learned that I don’t have to clean the house from top to bottom every day and make sure the clothes are laid out and food is prepped for the next day! It would be nice, but that doesn’t make me any less of a virtuous woman! Knowing who I am in Christ is what makes the woman I am. Making sure that I am the woman my husband needs me to be for him and his success  is what makes me a 31 woman. Being the mom that trains and teaches my daughter to love and respect herself and always put God first is what makes me the Proverbs 31 woman. Being the sister friend that everyone knows they can rely on, whether it’s an ear or a nonbiased opinion, all these things are what I value. The work, it will get done. The home, it will get cleaned . Everything else will fall in its proper alignment. But cherished moments with the people who matter, you can’t get that back. Our babies  grow up fast. I don’t want to be that parent who missed out on the simple moments chasing every opportunity. I don’t want to live with any woulda shoulda couldas. I want the best life….the life Christ has for me!

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