Now that the clock has struck 12, a new day begins, and our official “day” is now over, I want to offer my sentiments on Mother’s Day. I certainly don’t need a day to feel appreciated, but this year has been one to reflect upon. Anyone close to me knows that I’m not a big fan of holidays nor am I big on gift giving for designated days. I believe people should be honored throughout the year, as prompted or led. For this reason, I don’t give my husband a list of things to get me. He doesn’t have to worry about getting me the “perfect” gift and the fear of knowing if I like it or not or does it fit. Nor does he have to wonder does she have this at home. The perfect gift for me is whatever comes from the heart, in whatever form or fashion it is delivered.
So when my husband told me Friday morning to be ready by 6pm, I kinda got excited. I don’t ever go anywhere on the social scene anymore , so my mind began wondering about where I could be going. He had told me to make sure I was dressed up so that eliminated a lot of my ideas. “Was it the Symphony?” I love going there. ” Was it my favorite West End Restaurant?” I had all kinds of thoughts, but whatever it was, I had made up in my mind that I was going to enjoy my night. I was kid-free. I felt good, better than my body has felt since I became a mom. And I was free. I had no obligations- at least not for the weekend .
When I got off from work, I started preparing for my “date.” For the first 3-4 years of our marriage, we dated each other every week. When the little one came, dates became movie nights at home(which always ended up with us asleep before the movie even started). So anyway, I didn’t know what to wear, so I played it safe with a new jumpsuit and some heels. And y’all, I was feeling myself. I missed that girl looking back at me in the mirror! She’s been gone for way too long. I’m a mother now. Sacrifices had to be made- I let go of those biweekly nail appointments, even small things like getting my brows waxed biweekly . I put myself on the back burner.
So here I am, all dressed up, waiting in the living room for my husband to arrive and he did , shortly after he said he would . And yes, he did notice that the woman he fell in love with had reappeared. But then, in the same sentence, he asked me to run to the store. WHAT?! I for sure thought I was being PUNK’D….it was raining for crying out loud and my hair was still fresh! However, I obliged. I needed a few items anyway and I knew it was easier for me to occupy the time it would take for him to get ready . So I went.
………And when I arrived back home and opened the front door expecting to see my husband with keys in his hand ready to head back out, what I actually saw was my husband in a black tux, a dozen roses, and a bare living room (he had moved the furniture and the toys to the garage) with only a small table and 2 chairs by candlelight. Lights hung from the ceiling . Jazz music blared through the speakers. Our favorite wine on hand. Dinner from my favorite restaurant. It was the replica to any Friday date night in downtown Nashville. Just the two of us!
And do you know what happened next? I cried. Because for the first time in a long time, we communicated. We talk every day. This weekend, we communicated. We actually listened to what each other was saying. We didn’t talk about work. We didn’t talk about bills or money. We didn’t ask about each other’s schedules and appointment coming up. We shared our dreams and hopes for our family. We explained why we do what we do. A wall that formed the day that I became a mother was pushed down. We understood each other. We agreed that we both handle things and interpret things very differently but our passion and our reason is the same-our family…..
…..but that’s not why I cried. I cried because my husband recognized that I was on “E”. And he refueled me. He poured into my spirit like a Man of God does. He affirmed me. He encouraged me. He covered me. It’s not easy being connected to me. I’m a visionary . I see things a lot of times that no one else can see in the “natural”. Sometimes, I feel alone. Sometimes, I second guess myself. A lot of times I feel bad for my family having to share me. But this weekend, I realized it’s okay. That’s my calling, my ministry. But my marriage , my family is my FIRST MINISTRY. And if it lacks, nothing will prosper. My cup that was once empty soon began to “overflow”.
I couldn’t have imagined a more perfect evening. Even though my night turned out being my husband’s PLAN B due to the rain, it was everything I could have dreamed of and more. The tears I shed this weekend were far greater than any response I’ve ever given for some of the most expensive gifts- the trips out of the country, the Tiffany jewelry, the designer bags, etc. I love them all, but those things fade away. I want something that sustains!
At the end of the day, this is why I grind so hard. No, I’m not physically working and doing manual work like my husband (who is an extremely hard worker) but it’s still work and it still has to be done….because that’s what I’ve been called to do. Ladies, don’t ever allow anyone to make you think your job or your role is of no importance. You matter and your contribution to whatever you do is appreciated. Don’t do it one day and see how much you are missed😉.
Thank you dear husband of mine for making me feel like the Queen I was created to be …for you…for our baby…and for this lifetime. And thank you to mommy’s baby for giving me the opportunity to be celebrated. She doesn’t quite know the significance of the holiday at the age of 2; but she discovered quickly that if you say “Happy Mother’s Day”, it brings forth the biggest grin. So, all day and even when we laid down for bed, I heard “Happy Mother’s Day Mommy” and every time, she got the biggest grin with a sloppy kiss lol. She is my heartbeat. She’s my reason. She’s my joy. And if I had to go through the hell and high waters all over again to get her here, I would…..because she’s definitely worth fighting for!
I know the day is over, but Happy Mother’s Day ladies! You deserve to hear it again.
Comment with your Mother’s Day experience or share what your kids did for you. I’d love to hear about it.
Below are more pics from my weekend…