“Those who believe in the son of God have the testimony of God in them.”
1 John 5:10
What does my life say about me? I’ve been thinking about this for a few days now. If someone would have told me I’d be living the life I’m living, I probably would not have believed them. I love everything about my life, hardships and all. They are an integral reason why I am who I am.
Who am I? Who is Ambi Shantay? If you know “Shantay”, you know she’s my alter ego. When I was in my early 20s, clubbing every weekend, my friends and I would always ask who we were going to be that night before we headed out. Life was so easy back then and carefree, you could choose to be whoever you wanted to be. Me personally, I just enjoyed being out with my friends for a carefree night- I didn’t like being bothered with dudes trying to talk to me. As a result, I would always say my name was “Shantay”. When my friends heard this, they knew it was a “no nonsense” kind of night. I just wanted to have fun! I didn’t want no one all up in my face, sweaty and stinky, not to mention drunk. I didn’t want to entertain lame conversations or pretend to be interested in what anyone was saying. I just wanted to go to the dance floor and dance my worries away. That was Shantay.
How ironic that after 15 years , a husband, a child , and a different city, I find myself reuniting with Shantay. Lol. Ambi Shantay. Yep!I’ve decided to embrace my inner Shantay again. She gets my life.
One thing that my husband told me after we had our daughter sticks in my mind , “pregnancy changed you.” He’s right . It did. Motherhood changed me also.
Pregnancy and childbirth showed my how quickly life transitions. The day I was told that me and my daughter both stopped breathing during my cesarean section , I was never the same. I finally understood what the term “like a thief in the night ” meant. I wouldn’t have had any time to say goodbyes, no second chance to make things right, no more opportunities to take advantage of. I couldn’t believe that I was that close to death. You only go into the hospital pregnant expecting to bring forth life, not to lose your own. I was broken. I had never experienced rage and sadness the way I did after hearing that news. I knew I felt different . I knew I was different . I just didn’t understand why. And once the truth was revealed,I thought God and I were better than that.
Don’t judge me. I’m serious.
From that day forth, I vowed to work on creating a legacy , a name that my daughter would be proud of. That’s where Ambi Shantay came from. It’s not just a name, it’s my name. More importantly, it’s my brand. It’s my brand in which I will be operating under. A different audience. A different style. Same message. I’m coming from a different place. See, I understand now that it’s not always so easy to just tell someone to pray. God CAN heal it. And yes, He can fiz it . But we have to come to terms with that thing we need for him to fix and we have to be willing to give it to him.
So what does my life say about me?
My life says that I was once beautifully broken….but God has given me beauty for my ashes. He has created in me a testimony that no one can tell like I can, a ministry that touches the hearts of the wounded and afflicted. How else could I minister had I not been afflicted?
In his book “A purpose driven life”, Rick Warren talks about the 4 parts of a life message. These parts are:
- Your testimony
- Your life lessons
- Your godly passions, the issues you care about the most
- The Good News
I learned 2 years ago that we only have a short time on this small earth to share our message. God wants to say something to the world through you. What will your message be?
Please share your thoughts in the comments section and let me know what message your life says about YOU! Let’s chat!